Frenemies
by Pansychic27213
Summary: When an accident occurs at the Flynn-Fletcher house, Perry must take his boys to find help where he would least expect it. [Human!Perry]
**A/N: I'm never 100% with any of my story am I?**

Frenemies

-{[(•)]}-

"Mom, how did Uncle Perry join the family?" A sweet voice piped up as she was tucking in the kids.

"Phineas, you already know that story," Linda smiled. She patted the covers and moved to the next bed.

"I know," Phineas agreed softly. "But Ferb's new and you tell it better."

"Oh, well, if Ferb wants to know," the mother laughed gently. She finished tucking the green haired boy in and sat on the edge of his bed.

"What I want to know is why Uncle Perry stays in our attic," Candace huffed from her place in the doorway.

"Candace, don't talk like that, honey. It's rude," Linda admonished lightly. "Uncle Perry is different from most people, and we should be happy to have him with us."

"Whatever," Candace sighed and headed to her room. She was reaching that age where kids acted like they didn't care about anything, and Linda had already had enough of it.

"Don't mind your sister," Linda told her boys. "She's just a grumpy-bug. Uncle Perry isn't actually related to us, but he's our family anyway."

"Yeah, 'cause he's got blue hair and brown eyes, but we all got red hair and blue eyes! Genetically-" Phineas squeaked. Linda cut him off with a quiet laugh.

"Okay, my little scientist," she grinned. "Uncle Perry was adopted by my parents a long, long time ago. That means we're like brother and sister. Perry had trouble finding a family that would keep him, because he is very different. He's very quiet, and he likes a lot of privacy.

"At first, I didn't like Perry. I didn't want a little brother, I wanted a big sister. But then we went to school, and I saw the other kids picking on him." Her eyes went distant. "I realized then, that I wanted to protect him. I wanted him to be happy, and I cared about him a lot. Somehow," she smiled, "he had grown on me. I was happy to have a little brother. And that's how Perry became part of our family."

-{[(•)]}-

Perry pulled up to the house on his OWCA standard-issue bike. He could probably afford a car with the money he had saved up from being an agent, but he was putting it all into a special trust fund for the boys' college money. He stretched tiredly for a moment before he tucked his bike into a secret compartment beside the garage.

He reached for the front door, happy to retreat up to his attic for a nap and some relaxation after a hard day of stopping evil. If by evil, you meant Doofenshmirtz.

" _PLEASE!_ "

Instantly, Perry was back on alert. That was _Phineas_. Had Doof found out who he was? Was a villain hurting his boys?

Not on his watch.

He ran around the house to the gate and shoved his way into the backyard, not caring much for grace or style.

"Ferb? _Ferb!_ Please!" Phineas sobbed, holding his brother's limp body close. The red haired head was bowed, and the boy's shoulders trembled. "Please, I don't know what to do- I don't know what-" He hiccuped loudly.

Perry hurried forward. He quickly checked Ferb's vitals and looked over his body for injuries. Luckily, there was nothing but a large bump on his head, hidden by his messy green hair.

"Uncle Perry?" Phineas whimpered, blue eyes wide and watery. "Please help, please, I don't know what's wrong, what do I do, it was an accident, please, help, please, please-"

[It's okay] Perry signed quickly. [Ferb's will be okay. He needs a doctor.]

If there was ever a moment he wished for the ability to speak, it was now. He wanted to soothe his frightened nephew, wanted to be able to call for help.

Instead, he carried Ferb back out to the front and settled him in Phineas's old red wagon. The smaller boy trailed behind nervously.

"What're you doing? What's happening? Why won't he wake up?" Phineas asked weakly. They entered the house.

[Ferb has a head injury. He needs a doctor. I will take us to my... friend. He is a doctor.] Perry explained. He grabbed some blankets, water bottles, and his OWCA standard-issue gun.

"What friend? Is that a gun?! Uncle Perry?" The child started to cry again. The man helped him into his jacket before he scooped the boy up and settled him on his hip.

[I can't tell you. I need you to trust me. I love you.]

"I love you too," Phineas whispered. He buried his face in his uncle's shoulder, letting the tears trickle out slowly.

Perry carried him to the garage. He wrapped Ferb up in the blankets, grabbed the wagon's handle, and started the trek down the sidewalk into the city.

-[]-

"Where are we going, Uncle Perry?" Phineas asked softly when they reached the business district. "The hospital's the other way." He walked beside the teal-haired man, holding shakily at his jacket.

[I know, Phineas. My friend is this way.] Perry hesitated a moment before questioning, [What happened? How did Ferb get injured?]

Phineas sniffled but began to tell the story.

"Ferb and I were trying to figure out what to do today. Isabella's at a Fireside Girl camp, Baljeet's having dinner with his grandparents, and Buford went fishing with his mom. I had an idea, and I was going to grab some paper for blueprints." He gasped quietly, struggling to breath under the weight of his emotions for a minute. "Something- Something came flying at me! Ferb pushed me out of the way, but it hit him instead! He- He just fell, and he wouldn't wake up, and I tried everything I could, but- but-"

Perry tucked the boy into his side, giving him some tender reassurance. A fresh wave of guilt crashed over him. Doofenshmirtz had an early start this morning, with his Shoot-Inator. It could pick up any object and shoot it like a bullet. It wasn't deadly, so Perry hadn't thought to be worried when it went off right before it exploded. He was sure the Inator was the cause of Ferb's injury, and he just knew it was all his fault.

He could have _stopped_ it, could have saved his boys from all this pain.

Finally, they reached the apartment complex where Doof lived. Perry didn't bother with the buzzer. He pulled out the key Doof had given him last month and let himself in.

"You just have a key to this place?" Phineas asked tiredly. His little genius brain must be running a million miles an hour, but Perry didn't offer him any clues. "Right. Your friend."

There wasn't enough room for all of them in the elevator, so Perry scooped Phineas back on to his hip. Phineas pressed the button for the top floor at his silent direction, and the doors closed on any last second chances of escape.

This might be the most dangerous thing he'd done yet.

This could blow his cover, end his career, put his family in danger, and get him relocated.

But it would be nearly impossible to get Ferb in at the hospital, and at least he could somewhat trust Doofenshmirtz.

"You never act like this at home," Phineas mumbled into his shoulder. "You normally don't do much." Perry covered the boy's head with his chin, enveloping him in safety and warmth. He could only hope Phineas would continue to trust him and wouldn't figure out his secret.

The elevator _ding-_ ed, and Perry brought them to Doof's door. He hesitated, taking a deep breath. Then he stepped forward enough for Phineas to press the bell.

" _I don't need any squirrels!_ " A heavily accented voice called from within. " _I thought I told you-_ " The door opened, and the lanky brunette paused. "Who are you?"

Phineas clutched at Perry's shirt, eyes wide and breathing shaky.

"Hey, there's no need to get freaked out. You came to my apartment," Doof defended.

"I thought you said he was your friend?" Phineas whispered, hiding his face. Perry gently set him down so his hands were free.

[Doof, I need your help.]

The scientist's eyes opened and he stared at Perry for a long moment.

"Do I know you?"

[... In a way. My... My nephew is hurt. I need you to help him.]

"Why me? Why didn't you go to a real doctor?" Doof frowned, but he ushered them in.

[I... can't. I thought of you. I need you. Your help. I need your help.]

"Um, ooookay?" The brunette was already checking over Ferb. "You know, the lab coat doesn't mean I'm actually a pharmacist. I'm really an evil-"

[I know. Please.]

"Sure. And who's this?" He gestured to Phineas.

"I'm his brother," Phineas answered quietly, holding Ferb's hand like he could hold him to earth.

"He's got a nasty head wound. How'd you do that?"

"Something- Something flew out of the sky," Phineas's eyes were watering again. "It hit him."

Doof paused, and his eyes slowly traveled up to meet Perry's. The uncle nodded once, confirming, and the brunette's breath hitched.

"I'm sorry," he apologized softly. "That sounds terrible."

Perry scooped Phineas into his lap so they could all be together while Doof did his work.

-[]-

"Look, you seem pretty familiar," Doof frowned. Phineas and Ferb were asleep just behind the door, but the men needed to talk about this now. "Are you sure I don't know you?"

[You do. You do know me.]

Perry looked away; he didn't want Doof to figure him out. _Everything_ was at risk. But at the same time, he knew he couldn't lie to the man.

Doofenshmirtz leaned in very close for a moment, observing all his features. Then he leaned back; he shook his head and muttered, confused and frustrated.

"Anyway, your nephews will be fine. I checked over both of them. The green one should wake up sometime in the next 24 hours, and the red one should return to an emotionally _stable_ kid in an hour or so."

[Thank you.]

"Yeah, yeah," the brunette waved him off. He slouched over to a chair and threw himself into it. "No problem."

-[]-

As expected, Phineas came out an hour later. He bounced around Perry, wanting to invent something to pass the time. He was disappointed when his uncle declined; he had to explain to Linda where her kids went _eventually_.

Instead, Phineas turned to Doof. (Or as he called him, Mr. Dr. Doof.)

Doofenshmirtz brought out some metal and broken pieces from old inators. Perry almost warned Phineas away from the man, but then he saw their blueprints for a 'Get-Well' robot for Ferb. It wouldn't have any weapons. But it would be able to do the dishes at least once.

The two scientists build little toy robots and mechanical animals until Phineas started to yawn. That's when Perry swooped in and took his nephew to be tucked in.

"Look Uncle Perry," Phineas giggled just before he fell asleep. "Ima burrito!"

Perry smiled softly at his adorable nephew and kissed him lightly on the forehead. He then turned to his other nephew and did the same.

When he stepped back outside the room, he was surprised to find himself suddenly bundled in a trap.

"I finally figured it out, Agent Platypus!" Doof sing-songed. "You thought you could fool me, stop my plans before they even began! Well, no. No, it _really_ didn't work out for you, did it! Hahaha!"

Perry shook his head quickly. He tried to lift his hands and explain himself, but for the first time in their nemesis-relationship, he found his hands trapped. Doof was usually so respectful, at least allowing him to move his fingers so they could communicate. Was... Was Doof really that angry at him?

"Just tell me, Platypus, are those boys agents too? Was everything we did a _lie_?" Doof demanded.

Perry shook his head again, weakly trying to sign. Doof had never taken this ability from him. It _hurt_ more than he thought it would.

"I knew who you were from the moment I saw your _gun_. Did you really think I would hurt two little boys who needed help? You've met my daughter!" The brunette tilted his chin up, hiding the shininess of his eyes.

Oh.

 _Oh_.

Perry shook his head slowly.

"But you brought them here anyway. You let one _build_ something with me! You put one's _life_ in my hands! You put me over a hospital! Why would you- Do you actually _trust_ me?"

For the first time, Perry nodded.

They stared at each other for a long time.

"Well... I don't think anyone's ever... trusted me before," Doof muttered, obviously trying to find a backstory for this moment. He met Perry's eyes very carefully, like he thought he would get hurt even though Perry was the one tied up. "I _promise_ , I will _never_ intentionally do something to hurt your family. I don't know about, ah, accidents, but, like, I'll do my best, okay?"

And the awkwardness was back.

Perry smiled gently. He heard shuffling from the room behind him, Phineas making little noises in his sleep. He tried to turn and go to his boys, but he was stuck.

"Oh! Uh, here, um. There you go. Really, it was... _no_ problem."

Perry gave an acknowledging smile and went to see what was up with his boys.

-{[(•)]}-

Phineas had brief nightmares for the rest of the night. His worry made it difficult to sleep, so Perry let him get up early and have some hot chocolate. Linda texted around breakfast time, asking how the camping was going. Perry might have lied about taking the boys out for some 'manly' bonding time...

It was the summer after all. Camping wasn't a terrible excuse.

Doof made a horrible attempt at pancakes. Perry got in the kitchen and made some better (if not perfect) ones.

Doof and Phineas played together all day while Perry contacted the OWCA and explained the situation. They understood why he had avoided the hospital. Too much paperwork and too many questions.

They didn't understand Doof, much, but Perry assured he would take care of any 'evil' situations that arose.

Ferb woke up in the late afternoon. He was groggy, hungry, and unusually talkative. He sat with Phineas and Doof while they played, but he didn't participate.

By the boys usual bedtime, everything was okay to go home. They loaded the boys and the small robots into the wagon, and Doof cheerfully waved goodbye as they got on to the elevator.

The doors closed on their new relationship.

 **A/N: Not meant to be romance.**

 **Also, question. Do you think Phineas would act like that in a situation similar to the one I have presented? He may be this amazing, optimistic, genius, but he's still a kid, right?**

 **QUESTION OF THE UPDATE: Would you rather live in a big city or out in the country? I'm fine with either, because they both have their merits, but I think I would go with the city.**


End file.
